I'm in heaven
by The Poisoned Quill
Summary: Song fic based off of I'm In Heaven  when you kiss me  Alice is getting married, but an unexpected visitor makes her wonder... is marrying a lord really the right choice this time when there is a wonderfully mad man waiting for her in another world?


_Just a quick song fic I threw together while I was sick. It doesn't fit the lyrics perfectly but close enough for me._

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_I'm in heaven when you kiss me_

_Show me how you miss me_

_Take me with you back to Wonderland_

She was getting married tomorrow, she told herself, her sister should not have done this. But she had, as a parting wave to being semi-free her sister had dragged her out this huge midnight garden party. All of her friends were there, or at least those her sister knew about. There was no way Margret was finding out just how odd her older friends were. So she danced to please her sister with almost every man who asked for her hand.

_I'm in heaven when you kiss me_

_Show me how you miss me_

_Take me with you back to Wonderland_

But she still didn't feel comfortable, and it nagged at her. She still wouldn't be happy after she married tomorrow at noon, she'd still be incredibly lonely. She missed Tarrant and all of his oddities. She missed his hat and his goofy smile. She even missed the way he refused to admit he was not alright after he snapped. Goodness, how she missed the way he looked at her when she spoke, as if she had his undying attention. She never got that look from her fiance.

_You capture me with a stare_

_I'd follow you anywhere_

_You lead me into temptation_

The tea lights were a blur, man after man spun her around as she laughed freely. Her fiance hated laughter, which was alright, she rarely found reason to laugh anymore. But the feeling dancing gave her, the freedom she felt, that was worth the laughter. Her hair fell out of her pins, nobody said anything as she came more and more alive.

Out of the corner of her eye she swore she'd seen something strikingly orange. She stopped dancing, apologizing to her partner with the reasonable excuse that she was simply too out of breath to continue dancing at the moment. And when she turned to look at the other side of the dancing, she saw him on the outskirts. He smiled a quick smile, turned and walked through a parting in the hedge. She followed him willingly, knowing that she shouldn't. He had such an influence on her, if she didn't know any better she'd think she was in love with him. But that couldn't be, she was in love with Nathaniel, no, Nicholas. She shouldn't tempt herself. She was going anyway.

_Condition me to enjoy_

_I'm like a kid with a toy_

_I'm losing my concentration_

_One kiss from you I'm on fire_

_Your touch is all I desire_

_One look at you take me higher_

He was waiting for her only on the other side of the hedge. She couldn't believe her own eyes. Tarrant turned to face her with the same smile he'd used to get her attention in the first place. He wasn't wearing the hat and his hair seemed strangely wet so that it layed down against his head in what was almost a controlled look. He'd gotten a new suit, it was the same odd color, but he had on a solid color tie now. He looked both so wrong and so right. "I'm so happy to see you." She grinned at him, but didn't give into the urge to throw her arms around him like she really wanted to.

"It's nice to see you too. It's some party you have going on here." He tucked a stray piece of loose hair behind her ear affectionately. Her breathing hitched, his touch had sent a spark through her entire system and it hit her straight in the heart. Her entire mind fogged as he retracted his hand slowly, accidentally brushing her neck. The thought that this was wrong got through but she couldn't process it, she couldn't think at all. He was clogging her mind with his very presence.

_You know I couldn't resist_

_Yeah, I miss every time I'm with you _

_Every time that we kiss_

"Why are all these people here?" He asked, snapping out of the moment with a shocking recovery. It'd take her some time again, she realized, to get used to him all over again.

"I'm getting married tomorrow." She clasped her hands together, ignored his instantly rejected look by turning away from him. "He's a lawyer I met overseas, a good man really. He's kind and sensible, with never a word of criticism."

He inhaled sharply, faked a smile. "Well, I'm delighted for you." He heard a new song start up, which sparked a real smile. "Come, since I will not be attending your wedding reception, you really must dance this one dance with me now."

She didn't think that was such a good idea, but she couldn't see turning him away as an option. So she smiled and looked at him. "Can you dance anything but the Futterwacken?"

"Can I?" He laughed as if it was the most ridiculous thing he'd heard. "My dear, I can do a waltz, a square dance, a jig, salsa, tango, fox trot..."

"Tarrant!" She said sharply. He looked at her with pained eyes. She wondered how much it hurt for him to snap out of a rant

"I'm fine." He gasped before straightening. " Shall we?"

_I'm in heaven when you kiss me_

_Heaven when you kiss me _

_You were sent to me from Wonderland_

His hand was on her hip, the other was holding hers firmly. They twirled to the music, looking more like the spinning figures in a jewelry box than they did real people. He never once took his eyes off her, and if anything, whenever he spun her out they only came closer together. She could feel his breath on her skin, tickling and overwhelming her senses. His heart beat in a frantic time with hers. Maybe this was heaven, she realized, or maybe, just maybe..... Maybe Underland was heaven and he was an angel sent to her to show her something she'd been missing. Here in this dance was a burning passion. But it didn't change anything, she reminded herself, passion wasn't everything, she had reasons for picking Nicholas.

_I'm in heaven when you kiss me_

_Heaven when you kiss me_

_You were sent to me from Wonderland_

_I go crazy when you kiss me_

_Show me how you miss me_

_Take me with you back to Wonderland._

She didn't have to think when he pulled her just another inch closer, she just followed his lead. It didn't matter to her that they were practically touching, in fact she loved it. She loved him and she wanted what they might share. But it would be humiliation for her sister and mother if she ran off without a word on the eve before her wedding. She couldn't punish them for her foolish heart.

His lips were in her hair, she just closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the moment. She would miss this after tomorrow, she knew, and she'd never be able to get it back. Oh, this was crazy. She'd let it go on for long enough. Any more of this and she'd be capable of anything. Oh, but how she hated to pull away now. But she had to.

_You know I couldn't resist_

_Yeah, I miss every time I'm with you_

_Every time that we kiss_

She pulled away from his grasp, smiled up at him apologetically. "I really mustn't dance anymore, or I won't be able to move tomorrow."

"I understand." He backs away quickly, though she could see it was the last thing he wanted to do. He suddenly smiled, fell into his habit of making everything seem just a little bit better. "You have a good life up here, Alice. I wouldn't leave it either if I were you. But I'm not you, I'm me, and you're you. Which of course is how it should be."

After a moment of hurt confusion, she realized he was speaking of the promise she'd made to him. "Oh, Tarrant, it's not like that at all."

"No need to tell me." He took something out of his pocket and held it out to her. It was a good pocket watch, like the one she'd seen the white rabbit carry. "I actually came up here to tell you we can't keep the rabbit hole open anymore anyway. But this, well, this opens the hole should you ever decide to return."

She took it from him, held it as if it would break. It was the only piece of Underland she'd have with her for the rest of her life. "Thank you, Tarrant, I'll always keep it." She grabbed his hand for a second, "I'm going to miss you."

"Goodbye, Alice." He frowned as he felt her hand leave his. She started to leave. He made up his mind about something. "Alice?"

She turned to see him approaching her with a determined look. He grabbed her waist to pull her closer and kissed her. She could see white behind her eyelids, this was absolutely perfect. He was so gentle and yet so passionate, she swore she could feel every muscle in her body melting. And all too soon, he released her. He seemed confused by his own actions. "Goodbye." Was all he could say.

She nodded and walked away numbly.

_I dream of you every night_

_Feels like I'm losing my mind_

_This feelings just getting stronger_

She sat at the table where Margret was silently. Absently, her fingers traced her lips as they still tingled from the memory of Tarrant's kiss. Margret turned and noticed her. "Alice, where have you been? I've been so worried."

Alice thought about it for a second. She couldn't possibly tell Margret the truth, she'd think she was losing her mind. So what could she tell her? "I needed to get away from the crowd for a couple of minutes so I took a walk for a moment. I'm sorry I concerned you. Now, I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to go ahead and go to bed. Long day and everything."

"Of course, my darling little sister." Margret kissed her cheek in the proper way that they were taught to when they were both girls. "Pleasant dreams."

Not likely, Alice thought as she crawled into bed fifteen minutes later. And all night, as she expected, she was filled with this odd feeling of dread. When she did get to sleep, she was surrounded by thoughts of dancing, stolen kisses, and the pocket watch that she clutched in her hand as if losing it would kill her.

_My head is spinning around_

_You play with me but I'm bound_

_I can't resist any longer_

She was standing in front of the mirror, Margret was tugging at the dreaded corset. She'd tried to refuse wearing one but even her fiance had insisted. So she let her sister strangle her torso with the horrible material. There was no smile on her face like she thought there would be on her wedding day. In fact, she didn't think she felt anything.

She knew where she wanted to be, and if she wasn't bound into this marriage she certainly wouldn't still be here. Now she frowned, this was the same situation she was in last time she went down the rabbit hole, the prospect of marriage. But she'd did her best to fight it and she couldn't resist her sister and mother any longer, which was why she let Nicholas court her.

_One kiss from you I'm on fire_

_Your touch is all I desire_

_One look and you take me higher_

The headdress was annoyingly heavy, she tugged at it just a little as it sat above the bun Margret insisted she wear. It was stupid and ugly but it was also old. She had a blue ribbon that fastened with a pearl around her wrist and it was relatively new. The pocket watch was hidden among her many layers, which she decided to consider as something borrowed. So she was all ready to get in the carriage and ride to the cathedral where she would wed.

But she kept seeing Tarrant's face in the moonlight and remembering the way his arms held her securely as they danced. It couldn't mean anything that she felt so lonely and so very sad to be signing her life away. Her career was going no where, nobody would let a woman be anything more than an apprentice, and nobody was close enough for her to lean on. All she would have after today would be her fiance, her mother, and her sister. Was it worth it? Did that matter? Could she live with the fact that all she'd ever want in her life is Tarrant's touch, one single look from a man that was not her husband? She had to.

_You know I couldn't resist_

_Yeah I miss every time with you_

_Every time I'm with you_

_Every time that we kiss_

The huge doors opened, music swelled. Carefully measuring each pace, she walked down between the pews filled with everybody her family thought she knew. Her sister walked in front of her, along with the twins. But there was nobody there who cared enough to see this was troubling her. Even her closest family only saw what she was willing to let them see. She looked behind her, an unheard of thing but it wasn't like there was anybody behind her who could scold her.

And she saw him standing outside the large doors. He was too far away for her to see the expression on his face. He'd changed back into his old suit, his hair was as crazy and orange as it always was, and topped by that ridiculously flattering hat. He turned and walked away. She turned as well, and met the eyes of everyone of the guests. Did she really want to do this? She walked forward

_I'm in heaven when you kiss me_

_Heaven when you kiss me _

_You were sent to me from Wonderland_

_I'm in heaven when you kiss me_

_Heaven when you kiss me_

_You were sent to me from Wonderland_

She was almost there, just a few more steps. Nicholas, looking as dashing as possible in his suit, cleared his throat impatiently. It was then she truly froze. What was she doing? She'd almost made this mistake once before, hadn't she learned? Where had that muchness Tarrant claimed she had run off to?

"I'm sorry." She looked at Nicholas with sincere and apologetic eyes. "I can't do this."

"You will do this." Nicholas looked at her like he would a young child that had disobeyed him. The same careful politeness. "You will."

She shook her head, looked at her sister. "I can't. I haven't been completely honest with you. I can't." And she grabbed the layers of her skirt, held them up, and ran through the church doors.

Her mother rose quickly, called after her once. When Alice didn't turn or even acknowledge her, she looked at her eldest daughter. "At this rate, she'll never get married."

Margret smiled a little bit, "She'll come back, the moment she comes to her senses."

_I go crazy when you kiss me_

_Show me how you miss me_

_Take me with you back to Wonderland_

_You know I couldn't resist_

_Yeah, I miss every time I'm with you_

_Every time that we kiss_

She was so tired, she'd been running for what could have been hours and she had a sick feeling she was terribly lost. In a desperate need for breath, she sat down against a hedge and rested her forehead on her knee. She couldn't go back, even if she could figure out how to get back, she couldn't face them again.

He was gone, she'd run in the direction he'd walked away, but she couldn't find him. She would keep trying, because she had to. That man drove her absolutely crazy. She just couldn't get his kiss out of her mind. She couldn't resist finding him, it was the most important thing she'd ever do. And when she did... well, he'd just have to take her back with him.

_You know that I'm hypnotized_

_Each time I look in your eyes_

_You know I couldn't disguise_

_And I couldn't resist_

_Every time that we kiss _

She stood up again, frustrated with herself. What was she doing sitting here? Doing nothing wasn't going to make her find him any sooner. He had her so confused, she didn't know what way was up and which was down. Everything as she walked reminded her of him. The hedges captured the odd color green in his eyes, the blue of the sky matched his curious eye lids.

Oh, how had she managed to hide it for so long? How had she managed to fool herself for so long? There was no way she could have married anybody else, even if Tarrant hadn't come to her. She'd have run again, because she couldn't resist the sweet pull he had on her. Her pace quickened as her mind came alive with new reality. She knew where he would be, if he hadn't left already. Only problem was getting to him before he left. If not, well, she'd follow him. She stopped for only a second to dig the pocket watch out of her layers. Now that she knew, that she understood, nothing was going to stand in her way this time.

_I'm in heaven when you kiss me_

_Heaven when you kiss me_

_You were sent to me from Wonderland_

All of her hair had fallen out of it's pins again, the headpiece was still attached due to some miracle she couldn't fathom. It was her dream dress, she knew, the one she'd guided every cut and every stitch close enough to irritate the seamstress several times. She would save this dress, she decided as she ran, should she ever need it again.

But that was honestly here nor there, she reminded herself as she rounded the final corner. All that mattered was that she'd been right. Pacing where they'd been standing last night, he looked like he had when she told him she couldn't say. It was heartbreaking. He looked like he was in his own personal hell. She'd fix that, she promised herself, she'd show him heaven and that he was an angel sent to her for reasons she couldn't fathom. She didn't deserve him, but she'd change that, one kiss at a time.

_I'm in heaven when you kiss me_

_Heaven when you kiss me _

_You were sent to me from Wonderland_

_Ooh, it's heaven when you kiss me_

_Heaven when you kiss me_

_You were sent to me from Wonderland_

She waited until he saw her, until her presence sunk in, then she leaped at him. His arms locked around her as she clung to him. "You are supposed to be getting married." Tarrant managed, something in his voice sounded like he was choking, but there was joy there too. "Not that you ever do what you're supposed to."

"I'm sorry." She buried her face in his neck, loving the warmth she found there. "I couldn't marry him, not knowing... well, not knowing what I know now."

He pulled her away from him, looked her square in the eye. There was a serious expression in his eyes, the same serious tension that had been there when he told her about the attack on the White Queen's court. "You left, you promised you'd come back and you didn't. Why?"

"I meant to..." She touched his cool cheek. "I guess I just forgot myself again."

"That's quite alright." He patted her shoulder sympathetically. "I forget myself all the time."

Alice smiled, that was probably very true. "Tarrant, why did you come up here?"

"I told you, I came to give you the watch." He frowned marginally. "You know, I may be mad but you seem to be losing your mind by the second."

"I'm glad." She shook her head before looking at him again. "But that doesn't add up, McTwisp has the pocket watches, not you. So why did _you _come?"

"I wanted you to come back with me..." His eyebrows scrunched together as if he was coming up with the words. "I... I... I..."

"You love me." She waited until he nodded slowly. "Well, let me tell you something, Tarrant. I love you too. I've been in love with you since I wandered into that crazy tea party of yours."

He thought about it for a second, a confused smile graced his lips. "Which one, my dear?"

She laughed, reached up to kiss his lips. "It doesn't matter, let's go home."

_I go crazy when you kiss me  
Baby don't resist me  
Take me with you back to wonderland_

Helen jumped to her feet, startling Margret. They were sitting outside, trying to console Nicholas. "What is it, mother?"

"Nothing." Helen shook her head as she sat back down. "I could have sworn I saw Alice run by laughing with a rather odd looking man with orange hair and a strange hat."

"Mother, are you sure you're feeling alright?" Margret patted Helen's hand. "You're starting to talk like dear Alice."

"It's been a long day." Helen nodded absently, almost certain she'd seen what she thought. But that couldn't be."

_You know that I'm hypnotized by your eyes  
and I just can't resist  
Every time that we kiss_

It was only a couple of months later when Alice stood at the head of a large chaos. With most of the ceremony's guests being animals it wasn't hard to imagine how chaos was possible. With a word from the White Queen, who stood next to her, all the animals silenced. The music swelled and everyone turned to face the back.

Tarrant, dressed in an all white suit and a new white hat, strutted happily down the aisle. Alice beamed at him, her own white dress stained slightly from dirt due to the passage through the rabbit hole. After what seemed like a lifetime, he was standing next to her. She entwined her fingers with his and gave him a smile she'd reserved for him and him alone.

The white queen cleared her throat to get their attention. "Shall we proceed?" The Hatter nodded quickly. "Alright then." She spoke up so that the audience could hear her above Thackery Earwhicket's chattering and the random mention of inanimate objects. "We are gathered here today to witness the binding of these two in eternal matrimony..."

Alice chuckled just once, if only her parents could see this. A slightly backwards wedding where the Best Man was of her choosing and the Maid of Honor was Tarrant's pick, where the woman waited while the man walked down the aisle. Her dad would have loved every moment of it, including the experience of talking to manic, talking animals. Her mother, well, it was hard to say what her mother would have thought.

"What is it?" Tarrant whispered, earning a sharp eye from the queen. But the queen didn't stop, rather went on.

"It's nothing, just a random thought that has no meaning or consequence." She promised him, turning her attention back to the white queen. This, this place she'd been dreaming about since she was a little girl, this was the place she was going to spend the rest of her life. This, here with Tarrant, is home.

_You know that I'm hypnotized by your eyes  
and I just can't resist  
Every time that we kiss _


End file.
